Luv Languages

Gary Chapman speaks of "Five Love Languages" and how they apply to relationships of all kinds but especially to dating and marriage relationships. These are the five:

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Gifts

When Becca and I started dating, I didn't even know exactly what love languages were. For all I knew, it could have been some dialect of Portuguese. 

Everyone has a certain way of expressing and receiving love. In our relationship, we have discovered the importance of learning one another's love language. The better we are at speaking it, the smoother things will go.

Brian feels most loved when I compliment him and spend time with him. That would be Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. I'm awful at giving compliments so I have had to develop in that area in order to make him feel loved. When I compliment him and tell him how good he is a something, that gives him a shot in the arm and makes him want to do even better. I have tried to do better at recognizing various characteristics about Brian and telling him that I noticed so that he feels appreciated. That is huge for him. Although I still have a lot to learn, I started noticing a difference once I started complimenting him more. Also, Quality time is a great one because Brian feels loved when I spend time with him. Whether it is just doing homework, watching a movie, or running errands with him, he likes when we are together. So do I, so that's a plus. ;)

Becca is a good bit different than me when it comes to love languages. I have found that her top three are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Quality Time. Every girl wants to feel beautiful and loved, so a tip to all guys out there, compliment your partner with no reserve. You can never compliment her enough. So, with that said, Becca likes it when I compliment her. For example: her outfit, her kindness, her study habits, etc. This is all included in Words of Affirmation. 

Quality time is also huge. If I get caught up in school, work, or hobbies and I don't take time out of my days to spend JUST with Becca, she won't feel as loved. Going on an outing every week or two, even if it's just for coffee or a walk is a good idea in my opinion. Lastly is Physical touch. Becca feels very loved if I scratch her back, have my arm around her, or hold her hand. I could give her all the quality time in the world, but if I don't do the seemingly small things, it won't be quality time in her book.

We need to remember that we are all different. Learn about your partner, study them if you will. Analyze who they are and what makes them feel special so that you can love them in the most powerful way possible. You can shower someone with gifts all day long, thinking that they are feeling so loved, but really, they might rather you just give them a big ole bear hug. The only way that you will know these types of things is by studying your partner and getting to know what makes them feel like a million bucks.