Who are YOU?

"Wow. I really am just too skinny."

"I look ugly don't I?" 

"Man, I'm annoying myself. You must really hate me right now."

"I wish I had her voice." 

Blah blah blah blah blah! I may be totally off track, so correct me if I'm wrong, but am I the only one who doesn't think that's cute? 

I'm not gonna sit here and tell you, "Learn to love yourself." That's bogus. But I think it is very important to learn to be secure with who you are. It makes a relationship way better and keeps it from turning into a constant therapy session and ego boost exercise. Let me explain. 

I used to struggle a lot with being insecure about myself. Whether it was my personality, my head shape, or my stick-like wrists. I have grown up in a difficult home life and have struggled with rejection and very high standards. That really affected my self perception. I never told anyone that, so I kept it to myself and got self conscious about who I was. Whenever I was around Brian, I felt like I had to be perfect. Slowly but surely, I realized that Brian wasn't dating me because of my outfit or dynamic personality. He loved me for me. He loved me despite my flaws. 

When I finally understood that concept, I was able to let loose more and be myself. Brian even noticed. One day, I took a step and didn't wear any makeup around Brian. He said, "Bec, you look gorgeous. I don't think there has ever been a time where I have seen you look this beautiful!" I was like.... (o.0) ....what? My personality was more natural too. I didn't feel like I had to hide my bad side because I knew that Bri would stick with me even if I wasn't being very nice. 

I've gotten Brian's agreement on this: He thinks it is more attractive when I am confident in myself and don't feel it necessary to bash my appearance or personality. There have been times when I've said something negative about myself and Brian doesn't like it. For instance, I just said a couple days ago, "Wow....I look scary skinny right now. Ew that's disgusting." Brian said, "Bec. Don't say that. You're perfect." With that kind of help and encouragement, and also with a changed attitude, I have gotten a lot better in this area. (Not perfect though) Now, I go without makeup a lot and look into Brian's eyes without feeling ugly. I'm able to know that after a bad day, Brian still loves and won't pick apart who I am because I wasn't happy go lucky like normal. It's really a huge freedom for both me and Brian. 

So, a shout out to everyone, but specifically girls: Don't try to change or cover up who you are for fear of rejection. And don't think that by bashing yourself and calling out your imperfections that it's doing any good. It certainly isn't doing anything except probably annoying the crud out of your partner. Now, if you are with a person who can't handle you without makeup or on your PMS days then whoa, that's a different story! Hit the road! (I may be wrong or taking it to the extreme. . . sorry if I am. I can be extreme sometimes. Can I get an amen Bri?)
 
Don't spend your time worrying about small things that make you "less than perfect." You are perfect just the way God made you. Yes, you have flaws, just like I do, but it doesn't define who we are and it definitely doesn't change our standing with God.